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The Dark Side by “Addiction”: Vegas Robaina 5th Aniversario Humidor Maestros

Posted by dabyrdman33 on July 23, 2010

Confessions of a Cuban Cigar Smoker


Review: Vegas Robaina 5th Aniversario Humidor Maestros


This is a long review, so buckle yourself in for it 


I’ve only been smoking since 12 May 07. I got serious about Cubans about a year after that. I had my first VR experience in August of last year at the 08 Shak, a huge four day herf. I was given several 01 Classicos at Shak and I forced myself to finish at least one of them.  After that one I did a couple where I consumed about a quarter of each and my opinion of VRs was roughly this: Given the choice between having to smoke a VR or contracting fatal bowel blockage I’d have to use a life line to come up with the proper answer.  My life scale in order of reverse preference was like smoke a slr, smoke a vr, smoke a taboo, smoke a pole, smoke a real cigar 


I told Ray (which Ray??) that I would never ever smoke another VR. He smiled at me, the smile of the sensei to the petulant . Then he took off his Cole Hahn flip flop and smacked me with it, my fore head said “Cole-H.” for a week after that. Then he ironed said Cole Hahn flip flop (Ohhhhh, that Ray) and had me taste a VR 5th, the size escapes me. I said I’d secure a couple of those.


After laying in a couple I pulled this one for review. It’s a gorgeous stick to me with a wrapper the color of a pecan shell and a slight sheen.  The band makes it pop.  It reminds me of a sleek Armani suit matched with a dolce and gabbana (sp) tie. The bronze and brown and cream of the band make the look.   


Smells like muffins before it’s lit. Not in the obvious way mind you in a latent mommas got something in the kitchen kinda way. Or maybe banana nut bread. A good clean smell of home. And I swear to you there is just a touch of red hots there. You remember red hots right the cinnamony cousin of lemonheads. There is a little of that there too. The prelight draw also has that perfect mix of a touch of cinnamon and sugar.


The first puff is like Goldschlagger. Or what that might taste like if they didn’t filter it thru the privates of a Thai hooker fresh off a 16 hour shift previous to bottling it.  Actually it tastes like the idea of Goldschlagger; cinnamon so fresh and clear and brittle and bright it should be delivered in a river of precious metal. The cinnamon is clear enough to see but soft enough to take flush on. 


The cinnamon comes with something else but I can’t put a finger on it. It’s lush tho, I want to say floral but that’s more because the smoke on exhale is perfumy. Not in the “grandma fell in a vat of Chanel #5” way but perfumy in the way your pillows smelled after your wife had spent the night back when you were falling in love.  I’ll call it floral tho I’ve never had a mouthful of flowers so I could be wrong.


The stunning thing is the cleaness of the taste. I mean at this stage it’s like a splash of good white wine your mouth feels clean, alive and satisfied. That’s the hallmark of the 5ths to me except the Don Alejandro which has a bit of a dirty boogie back beat to it (in a good way).    


About an inch in a little power comes in and flecks of wood. Not sure if it’s cedar yet but leaning that way.  The cinnamon is like a child in summer in and out and in again.  Seems like there is a little pepper there as well just a touch.  The cedar settles in I mean you can tell it’s cedar but it’s more of a plain woody taste. The lightness of cinnamon is gone as we end the first third but that slightly floral component still lingers.


In the next third the wood takes a single step back and I get some pepper. Not strong but there.  The floral undertone, if that’s even what it ever was, casts a shadow like a candle in a concert hall. It’s still there but of almost no consequence. This cigar pulls off one of the most stunning transformations since The Crying Game and yet it doesn’t make you want to take a flashlight with you when you go to the club. 


This peppery woody character is so interesting to me, I typically don’t enjoy that woody taste in cigars. The ash can hang for an inch or two if your careful but it’s black and crusty with no qualities of note other than cooling the stick. Looks like a dream has burned and it won’t grow back. 


The baked goodness taste creeps back in and with so much going on in your mouth it’s like having a seat inside the middle ring of a cirque de solel (sp) performance, your mind can’t track it all. I’m all like “pepper wait no flowers…is that a little fruit, oh shit what is that midget gonna do with that shark?”. It might seem that this stream of consciousness I’m handing you takes you along with me but in reality at this the halfway point I’m simply bringing you teacups of descriptions from a fire hose of tastes. 


It’s all in balance the pepper, the flowers, the wood, the baked goods. I want to use the symphony metaphor but it’s more like the tower of Babel. Voices all different, all together, yet all apart. You catch this thread of conversation and before it concludes it hands you off to another and has boogied on about its business. At this point it’s different from puff to puff depending how much you nose, how much of the exhale you sniff, how long you hold it. The cleanness from earlier is gone as the pepper and wood come into your mouth.  And I like how it lets me hang on to the flavors a bit more. Seems natural.  


I swear there is a little fruitiness on the tongue now. Are we sure there is no sticky in Cubans cause I must be losing it.  After another inch or so Cinnamon comes back with force; it’s like a pimp who thinks your two dollars short and your breath smells like a double cheeseburger. Everything is getting soft now moving from Babel to the symphony all learning to live together after our 2 hour heart 2 heart.  


I kid you not, I’ve become so relaxed my shoe fell off and I didn’t notice. If I was balla I’d stack these jokers to the ceiling. This cigar could be proffered as proof of the existence of God. It’s what Megan Fox would be if she lost the ability to talk.  It takes a knock in construction as towards the middle it needs a few too many touch ups for my liking.  I also can’t imagine it better in time, it’s so damn good right now. 


Appearance –10

Construction – 9

Flavor – 10

Value – 9

Overall Experience – 10


Overall Grade – 9.9 


Notes: Not worth buying at all. In fact if offered any let me know and I will personally deal with the brigand for bothering you. Cause I’m a giver. 

5 Responses to “The Dark Side by “Addiction”: Vegas Robaina 5th Aniversario Humidor Maestros”

  1. So, you like it?

    • Addiction said

      Like wouldn’t be the appropriate word. Did Anthony “like” Cleopatra? Did Pookie “like” crack? You smoke one of these cigars and you’ll know the happiness of Michael Jackson performing at a boys school third grade graduation.

      • Did Pookie like crack? There’s gotta be a way to get a “Sit your five dollar ass down before I make change” reference in here somewhere.

        Great review, really enjoyed the writing as well.

  2. All I’m gonna say playa…is that this shit should be read like a beat poem over a video montage of your descriptions.

    I feel like I need to smoke one before Ray smacks me with a flip flop.

    • Addiction said

      Well thank you sir, I appreciate the appreciating. And watch out for Ray, you know he don’t play that…….

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